title: my first wedding dinner with des' family & sadness filled up the wk.
date: Tuesday, November 28, 2006
[ sadness fills up my heart ]
i cried for 3 consecutive days. . .
on sunday, i joined des' family to his uncle's wedding dinner.
i was looking forward and even made an effort to get a top for tt day.
but his mum was not very pleased, coz i was not wearing a dress. . .
i did tried to try on a few but none suits be..tt's y i wore a top & my levi jeans.
end up. . . his sis lend me a black dress. a plain black dress... i really broke in tears..
coz it showed all my flaws. my collar bone, and luk exceptionally thin. . . & i nearly wore a big chunky necklace. .
when i got there, i wanted to cry, coz everyone was dressed in dress but all luk lovely. whlist i looked like a crow. i was very uncomfortable with my look throughout the nite. if i sit down, nobody noe whether im wearing a dress or bottom rite? some of his relatives looked at me, one commented that im very thin. =( of coz la, esp in tt dress )=
i have been luking for a dress, coz i wanted to wear for his sis wedding in May'07, but i couldnt find any at the moment. and since the dinner was held in a residential area, so i dink my outfit i wore wad very appropriate le,
but . . .
I DON CARE! I WILL DOLL UP NICELY ON HIS SIS WEDDING!!!
on monday,
my colleague, CaroL told me that the cat, BoBo, who always hung ard the kopitam was DEAD. i cried immediately, cried even harder tt it was attacked by 5 dogs.
. . .
later in the afternoon, my mum told me that my sis' hp bill was $160++ & she is going for her mission trip on wednesday.. which is (today). . .i wanted to scold her.. but she locked herslf up, coz she noes that we are all mad abt her. . . all my mum's stuff was all inside her room, causing her to sleep in the living room. i was realli mad and angry with her.
why cant she be a lil more sensible ?
do u know, u r one horrible girl?
u made mum cried, u made her pay ur shite bill and go for ur thai trip..
u even blame us for causing u to loss ur bond. if u work hard and save hard, thn u wun nid to use the bank loan. .
do u noe hw many hrs she nid to wk, so that she can pay ur bill n ur allowance.
if she wasnt there for u, will u still be here, packing ur stuff to thai?
U R A COWARD.. GOD WILL NOT LIKE YOU IF HE NOES WAD U DID to UR FAMILY.
U MUZ LOVE GOD AS MUCH AS UR PARENTS, COZ THEY ARE ONES WHO CAN GIVE U WARMTH iN THE ROLE OF GOD.
. . . . .
im realli such a failure. . .
i realli duno hw to be a good sister.
. . . . .
sometimes i feel like going mad, coz im damm tired, wadever unhappiness i juz keep it to myself.
i realli duno wad to do, but juz keep on crying. . . . .
