[ the birthday girls ]
happy birthday to
Jaqueline & Joanne
we are all 23!!! hahaz..
[ bleeding love ]
You cut me open
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep, bleeding in love
I keep bleeding, keep, keep, bleeding in love
Keep bleeding, keep, keep, bleeding in love
I really bled inside with tears when u hide things from me again & again. I teared while massaging for papa at 3am. It's dark it the room, so he din know i teared. I managed to slp for a while till papa moaned loudly. Went to check on him, to find all the pillows, bao bao & blanket all over on the flr. He almost wanted to fall of the bed! Calmed him down and massaged his legs, finally he dozed off to slp..it was thn almost 5am.
. . . i think i better get some slp. lots of tasks to complete by end of the day. .it's now 6.40am.
#1: im sick of ur game. u hide, i seek. @ 3.32pm
[Sandwich-ed]
i understand that mama is also in a very difficult position.
she misses her mama (grandma) as she is now in the hosp. Her condition is critical, according to my uncle, her infected skin is bleeding.
she is tired, from her poor health and long hours of working & taking care of my dad when im not around.
but she shldnt said those upseting words to papa, telling him it's wrong to bring him home & not to trouble me at night (as im slping by his bed). . .
i understand how she feels, we are in the same rocky boat. my sis was helping minimally. so we are both sandwiched between our jobs & my papa. Taking care of him is real hard & tedious. nevertheless my mum alr cant take it but she dont want to trouble me as she afraid to affect my perfomance at work. i'm not angry with her, i juz want to channel out my frustration. i told her i never find it's a chores taking of papa.
if time can be donated, i really hope i can have a "time-raising" asking ppl to donate their time to me.
(1) Happy Mother's Day
I gave my mum a hongb$o & heart-shaped ba qua =P, actually most of them were eaten by my sis & me in 1 day!
A big salute to her as she was one of the women (the other is my grandma) that i looked up to because of their characteristic. They are strong, as in spritually, & physically (for mama =x), hardworking & independent. I dink part of their blood are in me. =)
(2) New R/S with desmond
A bad start for newly named as husband & wife, when i realised i feel lost & somehow cheated. maybe i need to show him more concern, put him as priority b4 my work & equally impt as my family. But i feel helpless sometimes so i really got so many stuff to do. & becoz of his recently promotio, we seldom spend quality time together. I did tried my best to acc him with activities he likes but sometimes it seems effortless. Hope things wiill get bk on track soon..
(3) Critical Week for Papa
I was happy when i saw my dad swollen feets disappeared on Sunday & his bowels start to wk reg. But my frd who recently lost her grandma told me otherwise. In fact it's the symptons of XXX. But we have to reluctantly sent him back to the hospice till next wk when we make arrrangement to bring him bk to stay.
I miss him so much now. Last sunday, he even held des' hand n said "yao xiang qing xiang ai". I even dreamt abt him "playing catching with the happy ME" for the past 2 days consecutively.
I understand he will leave me soon & will eases the wadever pain in him. But it's kind of painful to see him go. . . *PAPA I LOVES U" (i told him tt personally).
(4) All my friends
Lastly, I have to say sorry to those precious friends who i din meet up with you all. (hopefully you all will see this) I really want to catch up with ya' all & my god-daughter, Chloe (i dink she don rmbr me le) but i really have no time now. I also apologised if i cant din call ya all but i do put my true frds in my heart.
shall end here. still have to train a new girl tml. luking forward to train her & heard she is quite pretty. =X
