title: 100 days
date: Sunday, September 07, 2008
[100 days]
Helped Mama to get the stuff for Papa's prayers and folded the gold igots. I believe Papa is in Heaven but I still fold the igots, each fold is my thot abt him. Sometimes I wonder what Papa is doing, is he watching us over the clouds? Will he know that when we are thinking of him? It's so hard to get over him, especially I'm feeling down & dis-moralise at the moment. Besides Des, Papa is the other man where I can speak to him abt my feelings.
When I'm working during the late nights at home, I will look at my bedroom door where he used to stand & remind me to sleep early, or switch off my lights when i dozed off.
. . .
Anyway i was told to do a presentation & report and compete with my fellow colleague for the 'acting' mangerial position. It's a temp position thou but I would like to give it a try, even if I fail, I will learn from this rare opportnity.
But I alr lost half the battle coz most who knows gives me the answer that it will not be me. Pls dont think that they are 'bad guys' but they are being honest with me. I just feel upset yet I still need to do my best for my presentation for the alr lost battle. Which makes me even feel that it's just to show the decision for this temp position is 'fair'. Complex feeling to describe it. Im a lil glad when Des spoken something diff to me. still building confident & trust in him.
Back to work on my presentation. Wishing good luck is not allowed for this post.
ps. Sorry aisyah & vivien for not going dinner & not replying your smses promptly. Missya both.
